


Lost but not Found

by hinashi



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, One-Sided Attraction, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Unrequited Love, all is from koki and it dies down but in the first chapter there's self harm mentions, basically a shit ton of angst, like what did i say, why is everything i touch angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-13
Updated: 2015-01-13
Packaged: 2018-03-07 10:07:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3170894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hinashi/pseuds/hinashi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's not long before Jun notices, even Hikari's noticed it by now. And the two of them worry. Because they realize now in this point of time, that they've already lost the trainer they once knew. And they only realize now, how much less important they feel without him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost but not Found

**Author's Note:**

> oh boy this'll be a long fic i think. anywho so it has some timeskips, and just overal time switching, so it may be confusing, but i wrote it so that you'll only get glimpses of the future (or well, present) when it parallels to a time in jun and koki's memories.

When Koki was a boy, he'd lived in the most wonderful atmosphere. His family were bourgeois, his parents adored him, and his father often took him on camping trips. However, it's also then that Koki lost his father. After a landslide occurred and he was nearly buried alive, Koki was the only one to survive the camping trip. And from then on, he hated everything and everyone. He couldn't cry at his father's funeral, instead he stared blankly at the coffin as it was being buried into the ground. He didn't even show up for the funeral of his father's pokemon. From then on, Koki hated all people in pokemon.

* * *

Jun had been there for as long as he could remember. Jun was the type of person who was so outgoing and energetic you'd be worried he'd run out of juice, but it also meant he was open to new ideas, and that he was extremely kind. Jun cared for Koki, and only Koki. He eventually had to leave his old friend Hikari, as she wanted to start her journey as soon as possible, but Jun wanted to stay behind to help Koki.

Truth be told, Jun and Hikari had been growing apart anyways. But Jun and Koki were different. They were inseparable, and most of the time where they knew each other they spent being hand in hand. When they were seven, they finally began sleeping in the same bed when they had sleepovers. They were fine with it, because they were fine with each other. Jun was always so kind to Koki, Jun was all Koki ever had; so he tended to grow jealous easily.

It was around the time that they were talking about getting a Plusle and Minun together when it hit Koki: he loved Jun, and what he was experiencing around him was his love for him. And likewise, Jun loved Koki, even if at the time it was different. But they had been young, and the only love they'd known at the time were harmless crushes and the love of a family. But they both knew, that they loved each other more than just family or as a crush. There was something else, both definied differently by the boys, but they knew something was different about them from the rest.

Jun had always continued staying in touch with Hikari when he could, but most of the time, he spent all his days with Koki. Koki was always mild-mannered, and cared for many people once Jun had snuck his way into his locked heart.

The Koki most people knew was a standoff-ish type of person who was usually bland because he rarely (if he even had any) showed emotions. He was always so far away, so distant from others, even pokemon, and people became uninterested and afraid of him.

But the Koki that Jun knew was very different. He was always so kind, sweet, and gentle in an amazingly simple way. He was also stubborn, and was determined to finish things, though often his negativity got to the best of him, and he would beforced to stop. You see, Jun even had seen that side that Koki's mother only knew so little about. Koki was a much easier book for Jun to read, and it seemed only Jun could pick up on the hints that Koki had left behind.

Koki was the type of complex character you'd try to read about, but you'd never truly understand util you started looking at even the smaller ticks of him. Koki was self-conscious, extremely so, and he hated every fiber of his own being. Occasionally, he would even go so far as to beat himself, literally.

At one point in time, Jun remembered walking in to see a bloodied and nearly unconscious Koki, to which the blonde picked him up without thinking, and ran all the way to the Pokemon Center in Sandgem Town for him. Of course, with the nicks, and bites, scrathes, and just about anything the wild pokemon could manage to throw at the speedy child.

When Koki woke up, he was confused as to how he'd gotten in the Pokemon Center. His mother was crying, and Jun's mother was sickly with worry, but Jun stood above him furiously. Koki had seriously been terrified that Jun was going to leave him now, and throw something at him or call him a freak.

"I don't ever want you to hit yourself, or harm yourself in anyway ever again! You're supposed to be my friend, so I gotta take care of you okay! So everytime you need to hit yourself, hit me instead! I can take punches, so go ahead!" Jun practically yelled at the other boy, and the raven had noticed how much he'd gone through to save him. Small tears were welling in the eyes of the raven, and the mothers quieted down as they watched their boys mingling. Soon, in the span of three years, Koki burst into tears.

He began wailing, sobbing, and his tears immitated a river as they continued to fall without avail. They dripped onto the white sheets of the hospital bed, and they darkened the areas in which they had fallen. Soon enough, Koki had been crying so hard that he even had some snot escaping his nose. "H-Haah...! I-I'm sorry...I...I'm so s-sorry Jun!"

As Koki hadn't even cried since his father's death, and not even then, his mother was a bit confused, but also glad. But it still couldn't shake her from her sheer terror at losing the last member of her family that she had experienced before. Before anyone could make any other moves, Jun wiped at Koki's nose using the tissues next to them, before he leaned in for a hug. Koki instinctively continued to cry, but soon moved so that his arms were wrapped around Jun too, tangling them in IV cords. Koki hid his face in the shoulder of his friend, and continued to weep.

* * *

After about a week of Koki being hospitalized, he was finally able to be discharged after the doctors had made sure that he was okay. When the frail boy had walked out, he recognized a certain blondie awaiting him. Luckily for them, walking back from Sandgem Town was easier than to Sandgem Town. Jun had held his friend's hand the entire time, and he walked him towards their favourite hanging spot. They entered the lakeshore of Lake Verity, and Jun immediately dragged the two towards the water.

They put their feet in the water, and the two children hapoily kicked their feet in the water. Before Koki could apologize for the trouble he had caused earlier, Jun leaned in to ruffle his hair.

"Ah!" A small, surprised squeak escaped Koki, and Jun giggled at him. Jun smiled at his younger friend, before he got up from out of the water and began walking towards a hiding spot that the two shared. From out of it, he pulled a terribly wrapped gift. He handed it to Koki, a large smile on his face.

"It's for you! It's your birthday, 'member?" 

"Oh! You're right...It is my birthday..." Koki was at a loss for words. Jun ususlly remembered it, but with last week's incident, he'd had expected Jun to forget it, just like the raven had. But it only went to show how much he was loved for by Jun.

"What're you waiting for!? Do you need me to open it for you!?" Jun exclaimed as he rushed towards Koki, nearly opening it without permission. However, the little blonde boy calmed himself enough so that the birthday boy was allowed to open his gift. Rushing to it, Koki quickly tore at the wrapping paper, and a small doll of Plusle was now sitting in his hands. It...looked familiar, so when he turned to face the other boym his question was immediately answered before he could even ask. "It matches my Minun doll! Now we can match, right! It's not the real deal but we're not old enough to go catch them yet so...all we'll have to do is settle for the dolls!"

"...Thank you Jun...You make me really happy." Koki smiled as he tugged the soft plush into his chest, rubbing his cheeks against the cheeks of the plush rodent. It was incredibly soft, and he was sure he'd be sleeping with it for a long time now. 

But that was probably only the second greatest thing of that birthday. As Koki had been cuddling his gift, the blonde had closed their distance. Soon, he was leaning in, and the next thing that Koki could remember besides those wonderully orange orbs was the feeling he'd felt next.

* * *

 

With the blonde's hands cupped around his younger, and paler friend, he rested his forehead against the unresponsive boy's. Small tears welled in the orange eyes of the energetic boy, and he leaned in slowly before gently pressing his lips against the lips of his loved one's. His eyes gently fluttered shut, gently pressing the tears away. He moved his lips along with the other, and tried to hang on as he carefully bit onto the lower lip of the raven, but he soon backed down, tears in his eyes as they began to overflow.

Now he was facing at the one he loved before bursting into tears again. "Please...," Jun begged, holding onto the cold hand of his love, looking down as though he'd given up. "Please just...say something..." He'd begun to lose the strength to continue staring at his unresponsive friend, and began to weep to himself.

"I...I just want to hear your voice again...Please, Koki..." Jun cooed in a heartbroken tone to the hero, before he continued to sob. 

Jun remembered crying himself to sleep next to Koki that night.


End file.
